My race & new housemate

I thought I just so immersed myself into Japanese so that I was more accepted into Chinesey. I thought I just lost my Chinesey as I can’t get to understand them & there’s no closeness btw me & them. Unless family, but how far a family who don’t like you (ie me), can forge some Chineseness on me? Born as Chinese, it’s hard to eliminate those race belongness stamped on me. I just cant make myself believe I’m not Chinese, whether as Korean, Japanese, or else… *bewildered

Ah, today a new sharemate is coming. Come with his parent. He’s really hansem. His name is ivan. His dad’s body language entrust on me “Pls treat my son nicely yo” or u know, “doozo yorosh ku onegaish mas”. Uuuhh.. I was speechless edy. As it is, they feel sorry for me for having a dirtied unmanaged house, due to me edy.

Have a brief chat, while, still same. I was bad mouthed again by those Myanmar fucking roommate. Having badmouthed by ah ping & family is edy embarrassing enough. While talking with him, I realized my voice just too soft. Maybe since they start to knew me, they made me realize that my voice is tht so. And, expectedly, ivan got his voice toughen. By chatting wif him, I was made to known tht he’s not a simple guy. He’s a triad member, have a lot of extensive working experiences (aircond, plumbing, electric appliances, handset, mechanical tasks, door’s knobs, carpenting, welding, repairing cars + accessories, etc), muscular, fearless of ghost, & yakuza type. I’m really afraid of him. He even said, he scare no ghosts & implies some indication of fear-free of bomoh’s things. Actually, I had no intention so to use whatever magics there is, but since he told me, it just even more vexing to acknowledge tht ppl thought I would resort to such things. Kuyashiii…..

Why a new mate isn’t gay/bi?? I’m thinking to get a gay support groups. But just thinking wouldn’t result in anything. Anyway, kono mama de.

Hv a short dream. It happens as I kept thinkg about the subjects b4 I fell asleep. As an outcome, I woke up surprised as my heart was exploding, after my malay Microbes lecturer, Pn Azlin suddenly asked me, “U ni gay ker?”. It happen while I was about to receive my degree scroll. Anyway, dreams r always weirdos.